My mother, my friend (posted by Suneeta)

First time I saw Ma, I said "She is so beautiful". I could only know about her inner beauty later.

She blessed me always! And did treat me as an equal.

On a day like this...(emono dine tare...)

I could say it on a day like this...

Baba's melodious voice would lead people to think he had formal training in music. One of the things I remember ma and baba doing is ma reciting a few lines of Tagore's poetry, and asking baba to sing it. As a young adult in India, where even indirect demonstrations of affection are rare in middle-class Bengali families, I cringed at their corny behavior.

Emono dine tare: The song-poem

এমন দিনে তারে বলা যায়,
এমন ঘনঘোর বরিষায়।
এমন দিনে মন খোলা যায়--
এমন মেঘস্বরে বাদল-ঝরোঝরে
তপনহীন ঘন তমসায়॥

সে কথা শুনিবে না কেহ আর,
নিভৃত নির্জন চারি ধার।
দুজনে মুখোমুখি গভীর দুখে দুখি,
আকাশে জল ঝরে অনিবার--
জগতে কেহ যেন নাহি আর॥

সমাজ সংসার মিছে সব,
মিছে এ জীবনের কলরব।
কেবল আঁখি দিয়ে আঁখির সুধা পিয়ে
হৃদয় দিয়ে হৃদি অনুভব--
আঁধারে মিশে গেছে আর সব ॥

তাহাতে এ জগতে ক্ষতি কার
নামাতে পারি যদি মনোভার।
শ্রাবণবরিষনে একদা গৃহকোণে
দু কথা বলি যদি কাছে তার
তাহাতে আসে যাবে কিবা কার॥

ব্যাকুল বেগে আজি বহে যায়,
বিজুলি থেকে থেকে চমকায়।
যে কথা এ জীবনে রহিয়া গেল মনে
সে কথা আজি যেন বলা যায়--
এমন ঘনঘোর বরিষায়॥

(Translation by Santanu)

I could say it on a day like this,
on a stormy day such as today.
I could let the words slip out ...
amidst thundering clouds, ceaseless rain
and lightless dense shadows.

No one else need hear those words,
in this  lonely secluded space.
The two of us, face to face, plunged in each other’s anguish,
the skies weep relentlessly ...
as if the living have left the earth.

Meaningless, the world and its ways,
meaningless, the clamor of the world.
Save our eyes locked in ecstasy
our hearts joined in feeling ...
in darkness lost, everything else.

Should it bother anyone
if the heart unburdens itself
in this season of storms, in one corner of my house
if I did speak a few words, then
should it matter again?

Today flows by swiftly, desperately,
sudden light flashes, shockingly.
What has always remained unsaid
I can, perhaps, speak this day ...
on a stormy day such as today.

On a day like this... another lovely rendering

The song starts at 30 seconds into the clip. Sounak Chattopadhyay begins with a well-known classical song, "Mora saiyyan bulayey adhi raat..." and slips into "Emono dine tare...", another 'des' rag based Robindro-songeet.

Ma's love of Tagore and poetry

Ma's oldest brother, Sudhiranjan Chatterjee, got his Masters in Bengali Literature from Calcutta University. Shut out from continuing her schooling after class 6 or 7, ma started reading her oldest brothers' books, taking care to not let him know about it.

Tagore's writings and his poetry became her favorites over time. Ma used to say that although she could not hold a tune she knew most of Tagore's poems (set to music) from Geetobitan.

Pre-teen years

Ma was #5 of six sisters with one brother at each end of the line. Ma lived in Bhowanipore for a few years with her parents and her younger brother and sister #4 Sheela and #6 Chitra, and youngest brother Amitava. Dadu enrolled all daughters and his youngest son at Beltola Girls High School. Ma remembers dadu instructed them to not just learn in class but also pay attention to how teachers talked softly, and walked, and conducted themselves. He'd point out how when 'memsahibs' talked you could see their lips move but not hear what they were saying.

Amitava found himself in kindergarten in an all girls school. On the playground, he asked one of his girl classmates for the ball. Preetisudha refused. In response, he spun her around by her two pigtails. When Preetisudha complained to ma about this, she defended him, 'why didn't you give him the ball when he asked for it?'

Arranged marriage proposals

Dida and dadu started working on an arranged marriage for ma when she was probably 19-20.

One evening, dadu gathered his children and told them a story about a young girl whose family had a proposal from a young man's family. The young man's only 'flaw' was a handicap, a limp. Dadu asked them what each one would do if asked to make such a choice. Ma responded she would be fine with it.

This was a real marriage proposal which later fell through. Ma said yes to all proposals because she wanted to relieve dida and dadu of their responsibility for marrying her off.

Another proposal involved an affluent business-man. Ma liked what she heard about him. Then she had a dream in which she walked uphill to a door and tried to open it. A passer-by told ma she would not be able to open the door. The following morning, ma told dida that this proposal would not work out. A few days later, dadu received a letter saying that the young man in question had decided to marry an old lady friend of his.