My Modern Mother

I was about 18 years old and had just won the debating contest at the university I was attending - the thrilling prize was a week at Delhi's Youth Festival, mingling with students from all over the country. This event was supervised by professors in name only and was all paid for.

Of course I was excited and came home and told Ma. Surprisingly, Baba, whom I had always viewed as the more modern parent, was very opposed to the idea - he could not allow his daugther traveling third class with a bunch of rowdy boys. There was only one other girl in the group - she had won the prize for kathak dancing. What amazed me was that Ma really wanted me to go and have this opportunity - she was able to persuade Baba to get me a first class ticket so that I would travel with the professors and avoid the company of the "boys".


That week in Delhi was an eye-opener for me - to meet so many talented young people, to stay up till the wee hours of the morning listening to poetry and songs around campfires, have tea at Prime Minister Nehru's house with Indira Gandhi playing the hostess - left an indelible mark on my mind.


And I owe this rich experience to my mother who raised her son and daughters as equals. 


This is only one instance of when Ma was always exposing us to new experiences and opening doors for us to savor all that is beautiful in life. This realization has been slow - but now I feel her love keenly; her endeavors to teach me singing, dancing were all to give me more than she ever had a chance to experience. 

(Posted by Bonya/Khuku)

Ma's love of Tagore and poetry

Ma's oldest brother, Sudhiranjan Chatterjee, got his Masters in Bengali Literature from Calcutta University. Shut out from continuing her schooling after class 6 or 7, ma started reading her oldest brothers' books, taking care to not let him know about it.

Tagore's writings and his poetry became her favorites over time. Ma used to say that although she could not hold a tune she knew most of Tagore's poems (set to music) from Geetobitan.

Pre-teen years

Ma was #5 of six sisters with one brother at each end of the line. Ma lived in Bhowanipore for a few years with her parents and her younger brother and sister #4 Sheela and #6 Chitra, and youngest brother Amitava. Dadu enrolled all daughters and his youngest son at Beltola Girls High School. Ma remembers dadu instructed them to not just learn in class but also pay attention to how teachers talked softly, and walked, and conducted themselves. He'd point out how when 'memsahibs' talked you could see their lips move but not hear what they were saying.

Amitava found himself in kindergarten in an all girls school. On the playground, he asked one of his girl classmates for the ball. Preetisudha refused. In response, he spun her around by her two pigtails. When Preetisudha complained to ma about this, she defended him, 'why didn't you give him the ball when he asked for it?'

Ma’s picture on her admit card; the card required for her high-school and college graduation exams.
After didi got married, baba encouraged ma to get back to her studies. Ma did something very few men or women do in India - she went back to school. She remained a full-time housewife; but got up a couple of hours earlier and gave up a few hours in the evening to study at home and prepare for the graduation exams.
Many many years later, when asked what the happiest moment of her life was, she said it was the joy of being able to answer all the questions for her exams.

Mymensingh, Bangladesh

This is where dadu was posted, working as Manager for the Maharaja of Mymensingh. Ma's childhood stories often featured the mighty Brahmaputra river that flowed through this town. This is where ma's schooling came to a halt because there were no girls' schools close by. She continued to read at home, helping herself to her oldest brother's books, who was studying for his Master's degree in Bengali Literature at Calcutta University. Tagore's writings and his poetry became her favorites over time. Ma said that although she could not hold a tune she knew most of his poems (set to music) from Geetobitan.