My Modern Mother

I was about 18 years old and had just won the debating contest at the university I was attending - the thrilling prize was a week at Delhi's Youth Festival, mingling with students from all over the country. This event was supervised by professors in name only and was all paid for.

Of course I was excited and came home and told Ma. Surprisingly, Baba, whom I had always viewed as the more modern parent, was very opposed to the idea - he could not allow his daugther traveling third class with a bunch of rowdy boys. There was only one other girl in the group - she had won the prize for kathak dancing. What amazed me was that Ma really wanted me to go and have this opportunity - she was able to persuade Baba to get me a first class ticket so that I would travel with the professors and avoid the company of the "boys".


That week in Delhi was an eye-opener for me - to meet so many talented young people, to stay up till the wee hours of the morning listening to poetry and songs around campfires, have tea at Prime Minister Nehru's house with Indira Gandhi playing the hostess - left an indelible mark on my mind.


And I owe this rich experience to my mother who raised her son and daughters as equals. 


This is only one instance of when Ma was always exposing us to new experiences and opening doors for us to savor all that is beautiful in life. This realization has been slow - but now I feel her love keenly; her endeavors to teach me singing, dancing were all to give me more than she ever had a chance to experience. 

(Posted by Bonya/Khuku)

Probably Ma's first proper birthday celebration

Prosanto, Suneeta, Ma, Tinku, Bonya, Sudipto (Colorado Springs)

Unwrapping birthday gifts

Simla (1976)

Sudipto, Suneeta, Bonya, Ma

Tukun (Sanjeev), Ma, Baba

Ma was such a sport!

Ma, Sudipto, Suneeta (Colombo)

Ma, Suneeta

Ma and her last child

Ma was not thrilled when she found out she was pregnant with me. Her two older children, a daughter and a son, were grown up and she did not look forward to a newborn baby. When I was born, baba said 'don't worry, she'll be my daughter.' Of course that was a grand statement; ma still did the bulk of child-raising but she loved repeating what baba had said. It was also to emphasize that contrary to being disappointed (upon having a 2nd daughter), baba was happy.

Ma believed I brought luck to the family when I was born. Why? Because ma and baba bought their first fluorescent light and baba bought a gold locket for ma.

Ma the writer

Although ma's formal schooling was discontinued because there were no girls' schools nearby, she did not take to the sewing and embroidery that her older sisters devoted themselves to. Instead, she enjoyed reading and writing. Noticing this dadu brought her Moroccan-leather bound notebooks, and occasionally, asked her to read to him what she'd written. Ma remembered dadu as a loving father, who spent time with his children and often tucked them in bed at night.

Ma's oldest brother, who was studying in college while ma was writing in the notebooks dadu brought her, was not happy about dadu bringing her fancy notebooks. He'd ask her to hand them over to him but she didn't always give in. Ma noticed that her oldest brother, the oldest son of the house, often got preferential treatment from his parents and pledged silently that when she had children, she would treat her sons and daughters equally.

Ma the storyteller

Ma was enterprising as a young girl. She would tell stories to her younger brother Omi and sister Chitu in exchange for a fee; and the fee depended on the length of the story. Two or three-day long stories were expensive. At times when Omi was able to pay for a 2 or 3-day long story, he would keep a vigilant watch and command ma to stop whenever he discovered that Chitu was hiding somewhere trying to listen in for free. He gave her the signal to resume only when Chitu was out of earshot.